Magpie # 33.....

The Bottle.....
She slowly walked to the dresser and picked up the bottle of cologne....his cologne. Through her tears she read the label over and over and then lovingly touched the cap....the cap that he had touched last. Without opening it she put the bottle to the side of her nose and inhaled, experiencing the exquisite fragrance. She closed her eyes and let the memories rush over her like warm water.

He was gone. He was never coming back. She would never feel his arms around her again. She would never again feel his warm breath on her neck, smelling faintly of coffee and mint. Their lovemaking had taken her to new heights and had made her heart swell with such love that it frequently made her silently cry tears of joy that lazily slipped down her face. She had not thought it possible to love someone so deeply, so thoroughly, so intensely. They had so many plans, so many dreams and now it was gone, like a bright room submerged into darkness at the mere flick of a switch. In one second life changes, in one second her reason for living.... .breathing.... had disintegrated into nothing but emptiness.

If they had had a fight, she could fix that. If it was another woman, she could fight for him. But how do you compete with death. The call came from his childhood best friend informing her that there had been an accident. A motorcycle accident. And it was instant. In the blink of an eye, he was gone. He had flown home to Italy to visit his family and so not even his remains would be coming back. Nothing would be here with her in America except the memories, some articles of clothing..... and this bottle of cologne that he had forgotten to pack.

She was numb. She felt empty and hollow and the tears would not stop. She knew if she could only get angry it would help her, it would give her strength, but she did not have the energy for anger. She had no family of her own. She was alone and had been quite independent, earning her own way. She had been comfortable but not really happy until she met him. She had not thought it possible that being in love could change so much in one's life. She couldn't wait to see him at the end of her day. To feel his strong arms around her, his mouth on her neck, slowly creeping up to her own mouth as he would kiss her gently at first and then with more urgency. Whispering into her ear, he would lead her into the bedroom where they would tenderly make love, savoring the final moments breathlessly. She knew he was her future and in her dreams she saw them growing old together, having children, then grandchildren but always being deeply in love. Now it was gone and she was left here alone ...... and empty.

She went to the closet and buried her face in the few shirts hanging there that were his. She could smell him. The essence of him. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, taking him within her.

She slowly walked into the bathroom to take her shower. While doing so, her eyes fell upon a familiar box. She smiled bitterly. Yes, a few months ago she had bought this kit because she wanted to see if she was pregnant but it turned out she didn't get a chance to use it because she discovered there was no need. She used it this day because it would expire anyway. In a few minutes she stared at the result as her heart began to swell and a warmth covered her body.

It was positive. Perhaps she was not an empty vessel after all. As tears rolled down her face, she quietly said, "you have left me more than a bottle of cologne my love" and a genuine smile crept across her face. Yes, life can change in a second.

~ Inspired by a photo displayed in Magpie Tales ~